Everything Changes
by NYMeggi
Summary: Set post-Eclipse, but there is no Renesme. After becoming a vampire, Bella realizes that it isn't everything she dreamed it would be and heads back to Forks to reclaim her life.
1. Prologue: If I could turn back the years

**Disclaimer: **The characters belong to Stephanie Meyers and Summit Entertainment. I own nothing. I am just toying with them for a bit.

**A/N: **I actually posted this a while ago. It was an experiment in writing in the first person. Yeah, that experiment failed, so I went back and changed it to my more comfortable third person and made various other changes that needed to be made. Now, the writers block has left and it is flowing much more smoothly. Thanks to Puck for the great beta and Preet for convincing me the idea wasn't a total suck-fest. Reviews are much appreciated. I hope the changes have improved the story so far. :)

_**If I could turn back the years…**_

What the hell had she done?

That was the question Bella asked herself everyday for the last two years. The answer never seemed to change, as much as she wished it would. She'd gone and had herself turned into a vampire. After all this time you would think she'd be used to it, but it still made her want to hyperventilate…if she could. Of course she couldn't, because vampires don't breathe.

There were things they didn't tell you before becoming a vampire, or maybe they did and she just missed the memo. Yeah, she knew it would hurt, but it was also supposed to make her graceful and beautiful too. It seemed like a fair trade-off. Grace had been particularly appealing to her, since on her best days she used to have problems walking without injury. So, at least she had that going for her now. Gotta look on the Brightside, right?

She worried so much about killing someone once she became a vampire. Surprisingly, she had yet to hurt anyone. Being prepared, in this case, was enough to help her fight that whole blood lust thing. So far Jasper lost his little bet with Emmett. There was to be no human blood on her hands. She still hadn't totally forgiven them for that little bet. That was kind of fair, because Jasper would probably never forgive her for having the control he didn't. Humans did smell unbelievably wonderful, kind of like bacon, but she'd worked hard to convince herself that it was just an appealing perfume and nothing more. Sure, bacon wasn't a traditional perfume, but she had to come up with something to make herself believe people weren't food. Bella had almost completely convinced herself now. Sure, she was living in denial, but what else could she do? They were still people to her, even if in this case they technically were food. Hopefully, she would never lose that.

Her real problem was the nights. Edward never slept and Bella knew she would never need sleep once she became a vampire. She couldn't even begin to imagine how much she could accomplish without ever having to sleep. Yeah, that had turned out to be completely wrong. The nights crept by second by second at an interminably slow pace and it seemed as if every night was just a little bit longer than the last. She had a whole eternity of insomnia to look forward to. It wasn't a particularly appealing thought.

After months of dwelling on what she had become she had to find a hobby or go completely out of her mind. How many other vampires became addicted to World of Warcraft to escape the long nights? After beginning to feel more connected to her guild than the Cullens, she'd had to give it up. It was a feeble attempt at holding onto what was left of her humanity. The whole irony of her playing a computer game full of mystical creatures to reconnect with humanity was not lost on her either. To top it all off, not only was she a vampire, but she was a geek vampire. She may as well throw on some glasses with tape holding them together. It didn't get much more pathetic than that.

What made Bella think that her humanity was less important than being with Edward? She gave up everything she was to be with him. She let him infect her. She had actually begged for it. He had fought her all the way, but she just kept arguing with him until she finally broke down. He never had been able to deny her anything. Even knowing it was her own choice she still began to resent him. Life was perhaps the greatest gift you could ever be given and she had traded it for this sad excuse for existence.

"_Until your heart stops beating, Bella. I'll be here- fighting."_

She thought of Jacob's words more than she liked. Her still heart was a constant reminder of what she could never have. Jacob left Forks before the wedding and she never even got to say good-bye. A part of her would always wonder what she would have done if he had stayed and fought for her. Then again, she had been pretty clear on her intentions. Bella couldn't really expect him to watch her choose Edward over and over again. We all have our breaking point and he had apparently reached his. She couldn't even blame him for it. She hadn't exactly handled things well with him. Now that she was a vampire, that pretty much put them at odds from now until forever. He said it himself, until her heart stops beating...

The moment her heart stopped beating was one of those moments etched on her memory forevermore. Death had a way of leaving its mark on you. She had opened her eyes in the moments after her heart stopped expecting to find a more vivid and beautiful world. She always thought Edward would be even more breathtaking when seen through vampire eyes. When she looked at him with her new eyes she hadn't seen the perfect being that had always been etched on her soul, instead he looked like an ordinary 17 year old boy. Yes, he was an extremely hot 17 year old, but he no longer dazzled her as he once did. It was the same with all of the Cullens, although Carlisle and Esme looked a bit older. The world around her was not a more beautiful place. Dreariness and darkness were intensified everywhere she turned. She missed her sun.

The scariest thing of all was what she saw in the mirror. She couldn't help feeling that the stranger in the mirror could not possibly be her. In becoming a vampire she lost herself. All of the quirks that made her uniquely her were gone. She was just your average run of the mill vampire now, although apparently a bit on the geeky side. She had strange golden eyes and her bone structure had become more pronounced. She didn't look beautiful as she expected, only more like a vampire. Her brown eyes had always seemed boring to in the past. Ironically, she would give anything to have those boring brown eyes back. They said that the eyes were the windows to the soul. She didn't even recognize her own eyes. What did that mean?

Bella tried to hide the growing distance she began to feel from the Cullens, but they saw it. Worse, Edward saw it. She'd never seen him more frustrated by his inability to read her than over the past year. It was silly of Bella to think she could hide it, especially when one of them could see the future. When Alice had a vision of Bella's departure she stopped trying to hide it. The longer she lived with them, the less human she felt and the more she thought of the last time she felt alive. Who knew how much she could miss a future she never had? Once upon a time she had seen a different future with a different boy. She had seen the children she would never have. Who knew it was possible to see all of that with just one kiss? She was a fool to ever think that she didn't want that future.

They tried to stop her when she left. She could tell that she had hurt them and none worse than Edward. She wasn't likely to forget the pain she saw in his eyes, so reminiscent of Jacob's. Was that supposed to be her legacy? Maybe she was better off alone. That she even thought that was a sign. Her life had become one big pity party and she was sick of it.

So now here she was standing on her own two feet, perhaps for the first time ever. It felt better not having to pretend all the time. She lived alone, hunted alone, ate alone. She thought it was better that way after being wrapped up in Edward for so long. She didn't even know who she was without him. That couldn't be healthy.

Sometimes Bella felt someone watching her in the woods, but there was never anyone there by the time she noticed. Edward always had been fast. She would catch his scent on the wind afterwards, always her protector. He should know better than anyone that his protection was no longer necessary and never would be again. She always moved on after he found her, afraid she would lose herself in him again. At times it felt good to be wild and lose herself in the hunt rather than Edward. Then afterwards she would look in the mirror and see the stranger with blood on her mouth. She was homeless and growing increasingly feral. She didn't know who she was anymore, but she knew that wasn't her.

Maybe that was how she found herself inadvertently making her way back towards Forks. That was the last place she felt truly at home. She knew her heart was dead in her chest, but she could almost imagine a stutter at the flash of hope that sprang to life at the sight of her old home. She watched the lights in Charlie's house as he moved around the kitchen. Who knew what meal he was butchering without her there to help him? Her mouth curled into a smile for the first time in what felt like forever.

Maybe Charlie could learn to accept her as she was. Maybe she could make him understand without putting him in too much danger. She looked into the darkness always surrounding her and couldn't escape the next thought.

Maybe she could catch just one small glimpse of her own personal sun again…


	2. Chapter 1: I could learn how to feel

**Disclaimer: **The characters belong to Stephanie Meyers and Summit Entertainment. I own nothing. I am just toying with them for a bit. The chapter titles come from the song Everything Changes, by Staind.

**A/N: **I actually started this story a couple years ago. Real life got a bit crazy and I lost my notes and I kind of forgot about it. Fast forward a couple years to a new home. I found my notes and remembered how much I loved my ideas for the story. As I am currently unemployed with the move, I find I have a lot more time. I am hoping to update weekly or even more often if the muses are kind. I am so sorry for the long break. I promise to be better and am actually really excited to have found my notes to get back to this. Funny tidbit, back when I first wrote this I mentioned Ichiro as a Mariner. Any baseball fans out there may know that Ichiro is a Yankee now, so I had to fix that. You also may be able to guess where my allegiances lay by my name. ;)

**_I could learn how to feel…_**

Things could have been worse, although it was difficult to see how. Bella watched Charlie warily as he held his gun on her. He pulled it the second she started telling him she was Bella. He had never been one to run for his gun without provocation. Somehow he had gotten the idea that she hurt his daughter, which was ridiculous, because she was standing right there. Still, he hadn't actually pulled the trigger yet, so she had that going for her. There was that bright side again. Maybe she should have knocked instead of just showing up in the living room and announcing herself. Obviously, she was not the only one that found herself unrecognizable. It hurt a little bit to think that her own father had no idea who she was. The whole tinkly voice was not helping plead her case either. She tried to tone it down, but it was proving to be a very difficult task. It sounded like she was singing to him and it was driving her absolutely mad. What she wouldn't give for her ordinary old voice…

"Get out of my house. I don't know who you think you are, but you're not my daughter."

"Yes, I am. I'm Bella." she repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

"You're breaking and entering. I don't know what you did to my daughter, but I'm a cop and I do have the authority to use this."

"No you don't. I'm not armed, Dad." She put her arms out, trying to show him how harmless she was. "I just wanted to talk to you. I know I look different…"

"Different!?" He trained his gun on her again. Bella was starting to get nervous even if bullets couldn't technically kill her. She still felt pain and she was pretty sure that getting shot was bound to hurt like hell. She moved without thinking, disarming him quickly and taking the gun apart. When his eyes widened and he moved away she realized that was probably not her best choice of action. Bella was coming up with new ways to screw up any given situation now that she was no longer a tripping over her own feet. It was a talent. On top of scaring the crap out of Charlie, she was going to have to buy him a new gun for work. She rolled her eyes at herself and crossed her arms, trying to look unthreatening again. It was too bad she had pretty much blown that.

"Yes, different. Now, if you would just sit down and talk to me I could explain." It was Charlie's turn to eye her warily. His eyes moved from the gun she had just dismantled to her face, searching.

"Please Dad…" The plea was thick with emotion, rendering it hoarser, closer to her old voice. Recognition dawned as he searched her face. She looked back at him steadily, willing him to see her behind the unfamiliar vampire face.

"Bells? What? How?" Charlie looked dazed as he dropped on the couch.

"Hey Dad!" She gave a little wave and a sheepish grin. "I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said it was a ton of plastic surgery and contacts?"

"Your voice…"

"Yeah, ummm…so I didn't really think through a whole explanation for this. Voice lessons maybe? A voice transplant…" She shrugged nervously and that finally broke him out of his daze.

"I'm not an idiot, Bella. You're going to have to do better than that. Where's Edward?" He spat his name out as he always had and she sighed. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but she hadn't really had a chance to think about the whole thing or the right thing to say.

Bella resigned herself to never seeing her father even before she became a vampire. She couldn't really say it had been easy, but it had been different at the time. Edward had consumed her every waking thought and most of her dreams. There had been no room to worry about what she was giving up. All she cared about, all she saw was Edward. The rest of the world may not have existed, including her dad. She had been so dependent on Edward that nothing seemed more painful than being away from him. It was scary how much she had given up for him. By the time she came to her senses, she thought it was too late. It had been instinct that had led her back here. She hadn't given herself a chance to plan, because that would have given her the chance to wimp out.

"Edward and I broke up a few months back. I didn't like who I became with him." It was the simple and utter truth and she knew Charlie could read it in her eyes. She looked away. "I screwed up, Dad, big time. I just…I just wanted to come home."

"Your room is always open. You know that, Bella. You must be tired…" His voice trailed off at the shake of her head. She wasn't exactly sure the protocols for telling your dad you were a vampire without actually telling him, all she needed was for the Volturi to pay an unexpected visit. Everything was always so complicated. Why wasn't there a damn handbook for this?

"I'm good. I don't really get tired any more, Dad." She said with a wry grin. She could see his confusion at her words as he was suddenly lost in thought. She waited, knowing that the new Bella was not entirely easy to swallow. He finally spoke after what seemed like an eternity.

"Does this have to do with all the weird things happening out in La Push?" Bella's gaze sharpened with appreciation as she regarded her father. Charlie had never been stupid, so she had no idea why she would be surprised he knew something was going on. There was a reason Forks made him Sheriff. He always looked so damn unassuming that even she underestimated his intelligence at times.

"Like what stuff?" she asked cautiously.

"Like the way a bunch of giant dogs have been spotted in the woods and the boys of the tribe are hitting rapid growth spurts, Jacob in particular."

"I thought you said those were bears." Bella said faintly.

"You and I both know there are no bears this close to town. Besides, the descriptions fit wolves much better." She contemplated how much she could say and how much he would accept. Werewolves and vampires were so far outside of the realm of his reality, or so she thought. Bella looked at him speculatively.

"It may be kind of like that," she spoke carefully, "only a little more complicated. I'm not quite like them. You'd really need to talk to Billy and Jake about that. All I can say on that is that it might be best if you didn't let them know I was here. They might not approve."

Charlie's face hadn't lost the look of speculation. It was a lot to take in all at once and she could practically see the wheels turning as he processed what she was saying. She felt about two feet tall for asking him to hide her from everyone, including his best friend. Surprisingly it was not his best friend that he thought of first. It was hers.

"You can't see Jacob?" Her chest hurt, but she answered her father truthfully.

"We're too different now. He…we…I was never supposed to come back. There was an agreement and I am breaking it by coming back here. I'm not really sure how they'll take it."

"You really planned on never coming back?" He winced as if Bella had hit him.

"I was stupid and I screwed everything up soooo much. I don't even know how to fix it, but I knew I had to come back. I missed you." Charlie's eyes turned sad and she could see he was realizing the enormity of what she had done. He really was trying to accept her. He was probably doing better than she would have in his position. When it came down to it Bella would always be his daughter. She had never really given him enough credit. Her dad was awesome. Sure, they never really had a touchy feely relationship, but when he tentatively opened his arms she all but threw herself at him. Bella almost knocked him off his feet in her relief. She could feel the chuckle rumble in his chest. She didn't want to let go. He rubbed her back absently.

"You're cold, Bell."

"Yeah, um, that's kind of part of it too. It's complicated…" she repeated faintly. Charlie squeezed his daughter briefly before letting her go.

"It'll be an adjustment."

"That's not an understatement or anything." Despite her sarcasm, she couldn't help but smile. She wasn't likely to take Charlie for granted again.

"We can work this." She heard the determination in his voice and felt a rush of love for this man. It probably wasn't the kind of situation that he envisioned when she first came to Forks. She couldn't believe that he was willing to try after everything she had put him through. Had she said he was awesome? Awesome was too weak of a word. Bella had the best dad ever.

"Sure we can. I'm going to go take a shower and clean up."

"The Mariners are playing in a little while. I was going to watch the game. I know baseball isn't exactly your thing…" His voice trailed off and to her surprise she felt a huge grin split her face. Charlie and his sports…some things never changed, but maybe she could.

"I'd love to, Dad." Watching a game with her father sounded like such a normal father-daughter activity. In the past she would have used any excuse she could find to get out of it, but Bella was surprised to realize that it was true. Of course, at this point she would have said the same thing to taking a stroll through fire with him if he asked. She was that glad to be back.

That was how Bella's life, or unlife as the case may be, began again. She managed to keep herself busy while he was at work. Every night they sat down to eat dinner together and then they headed to the couch to watch the game. Baseball had never done much for her in the past and she never really understood his fascination with the game. Sitting beside him on the couch, she thought she finally got it. Once upon a time, he sat beside his own father watching or listening to the game the same way she now sat beside him. If she were able to have children, then they would have sat beside them one day. Sometimes she could almost see the ghosts of her dark-haired children bouncing on the end of the couch, asking an endless stream of questions as their grandfather ruffled their hair affectionately. He would have made such an amazing grandfather. Then they would disappear and she would remember that children would never be a part of her future.

Bella and Charlie often talked during the game. Sometimes he talked about his father. Sometimes they just talked about the game. It was probably the most they ever talked. He explained the game and eventually she was able to comment on the games herself. During that time she was finally able to see him as a real father and not just someone that happened to share her living space. It was funny, but she stopped thinking of him as Charlie and started seeing him as Dad.

Also, it was amazing how much Sports Center you can watch when you don't sleep. It wasn't long before she began to love the game almost as much as he did. Watching the game beside him soon became the highlight of her days. As Bella got more into the game, she was able to forget for a while….forget that he was a human, forget that she was a vampire, forget what she lost. She didn't even argue when he started bringing home Mariners tees and ballcaps. She even had her own King Felix jersey. She'd definitely take being the sporty vamp over the geeky one. Sporty was way cooler.

In the almost 2 months since Bella came back to Forks she started feeling more normal than she ever had. She started teaching her dad to cook after seeing the mess he made of a piece of chicken. The poor bird had been unrecognizable when he was done with it. He was making some real progress and he almost never started fires anymore. They were still at the instant mac and cheese phase, but it was progress. She wasn't quite ready to get rid of the fire extinguisher quite yet. She still remembered the time he tried to microwave a whole jar of spaghetti sauce with the lid on. Bella shuddered at the memory. How had the man survived before she showed up?

She brought Jacob up only once right after she first got home and learned that he had been gone for months after getting a wedding invite from Edward. Bella wanted so badly to go rip Edward's throat out when she heard what he had done. He must have known what that would do to Jacob. Still, the worst part of the whole thing was that Jacob hadn't gone alone. He had taken Leah with him. It felt like a knife going through her. If only she could cry, but she remained dry-eyed as her dad told her how good Leah was for Jacob and how she helped him…helped him get over Bella.

She left for a couple days after that, half wild, tearing into deer, bears anything to get rid of the violence inside her. She didn't want him to see the pain and anger his news brought with it. It wasn't really surprising that he refused to mention Jacob again after she got back. She hadn't hidden her reaction as well as she should have. Jacob had always had ability to get to her. It didn't matter whether he was there or not.

She tried not to think too much about the world outside of their house and who her dad may have seen during the day. Occasionally, she picked up different scents on him and she knew he had to have seen Jacob and the rest of the pack. Still, they carefully avoided the topic. Their father-daughter relationship was still too new to face that kind of conflict. Baseball, cooking, and family were much safer topics. She knew there would come a time when they couldn't hide from it any more, but right now she was enjoying their closeness.

Despite her dad's reluctance to discuss her best friend, Bella thought of him constantly, wondering what he was doing…if he was happy. It bothered her that he was with Leah. She knew it shouldn't, but that didn't change the facts. She came to her senses and came back to Forks and he wasn't there waiting in the wings like he said he would be. She felt ashamed of her selfishness, but she wished he had waited for her to come to her senses.

Sometimes Bella thought about sneaking out to La Push to see him. She actually went as far as the boundaries once, but then she remembered the treaty and quickly backtracked. She came back to move on with her life, not to end it. She didn't know what they would do if they saw her. She didn't think they would hurt her, but she wasn't ready to chance it. Wolves and vampires didn't mix. They only worked together sometimes when trying to save her ass. Unfortunately, her ass was a bit past saving now.

Bella tried to put it all out of her mind as she got ready to watch her nightly game with her dad. She looked at her reflection as she arranged her ponytail through the back of her new Mariner's cap. Thank God the whole no reflection thing was a myth. It would be pretty difficult to do her hair with no reflection. She straightened her Hernandez jersey and she realized that for once she was not repulsed by the face she saw. She could almost pretend that she was just a normal 18 year old girl getting ready to watch a game with her father. It brought her back to the last time she had been dressed like this.

Edward…

She cursed herself for thinking about him again. He was like a bad addiction. Like an ex-addict she finally saw how unhealthy he was for her. Like heroin, he sapped the life from her. The whole point of going home had been to move on and learn to live without him. Still, the last time she had been in a baseball hat she had been playing baseball with the Cullens in a thunderstorm. She tweaked her hat humorlessly. It was too bad that she didn't have the appreciation for the game then that she had now. She could have schooled them in the fine art of baseball, but she hadn't had much of an appreciation for anything then. That was why she had to leave.

The phone rang somewhere in the house and Bella's ears perked up as she was dragged from her reminiscences. She listened as her father picked it up. Technically, it was probably eavesdropping, but she really couldn't help it if she had super-vampire hearing. It was one of the few perks that came with becoming a vampire that she appreciated. The voice on the other end made her pause. It was Jake. This was interesting. In all the time she had been back he had never called. Billy called on occasion, but never Jacob. She slipped silently into the room behind her dad and listened to the deep voice coming from the phone, grateful for even this slight connection to Jake. Her breath caught as she realized that he was coming over with Billy to watch the game. It took everything she had not to start panicking.

This was bound to happen. Bella couldn't exactly expect her dad to never watch a game with his best friend again. That was their thing before she came back, fishing and watching games. She knew this, but she had gotten so comfortable with their sheltered existence. She should have been more prepared. She didn't move as they spoke. She didn't know if she could have if she tried.

Jake was coming over. In her trips out to La Push, she hadn't caught even a glimpse of him. Part of her wanted to shout with joy, while the smarter part of her realized just how much of a disaster this could be. Her father nearly jumped out of his skin when he turned around and saw Bella standing behind him, lost in thought.

"Jesus, Bell, You're going to give me a heart attack one of these days!"

"Sorry, Dad."

"I guess you heard that then?" She nodded numbly. Jacob was coming to her house…Jacob, her best friend that hated vampires…Jacob, with his super wolf sense of smell was going to be in her living room in less than an hour. Her dad could not even begin to understand how bad that was.

"I'm sorry. Billy was starting to think something was wrong and Jacob just about invited himself over tonight. I didn't want to risk him coming over unannounced." At least he was apologetic. "I meant to mention it earlier."

"He may as well be coming over unannounced, Dad! We have like no time to prepare."

"What's to prepare? Can't you just hide for a while? You just scared the hell out of me because you were so quiet a minute ago."

"It's not that simple, Dad! It doesn't matter how quiet I am. Jake's going to know I'm here!"

"How is that even possible? I wouldn't even know you were here half the time if I didn't see you." He wasn't one to back down. She had obviously gotten her streak of stubbornness from him.

"Do you really want the answer to that?" Bella asked in exasperation. She could see that he wanted to argue, but he reluctantly let it go.

"Not really. One of these days we'll have to talk about it, but we probably need a lot more time. Could you at least disappear into the woods for a while? I can't cancel at this point or he'll know that something's up for sure."

"Yeah, I know. I'll just go grab a bite. Could you at least tape the game for me?" Bella smiled weakly as she processed the fact that Jake was really going to be there and she couldn't see him or even give a hint that she had ever been there. Her dad smiled at her request and to her surprise tugged her ponytail.

"Of course, Bell. I've got a good feeling. They're going to get the Yankees this time." She bumped his fist quicklY as the fist bump seemed to be important where sports were concerneD, then she brought them back around to the disaster at hand.

"I hope so, but you might want to burn some of those candles I bought and maybe use a little bleach in the kitchen before you watch it." His face screwed up in confusion before clearing. He still wasn't thrilled with her bringing up her less than human qualities, despite his claim that they had to discuss it. Bella never said the actual words, even if she tried not to hide things from him. She didn't want to go out of her way to talk about it. She remembered how the Volturi felt about people knowing about vampires. If she needed to go hunting she told him she was going, but she usually said she was going "out for a bite." It was a bad joke, but technically the truth. The first time he got the pun he hadn't been amused. Now he mostly rolled his eyes when she said it. He was adjusting pretty well to the completely screwed up situation she had thrust him in and holding up pretty well under her newest and strangest request to hide her scent too.

"OK, well…I'll do that. You have fun with whatever and be safe."

"Always Dad." With that Bella slipped out of the house and into the woods. She watched as flickering lights began appearing in all the windows. Was he lighting all the candles in the house? She winced as she realized just how fragrant the house was going to be. Poor Jacob. He wasn't going to know what hit him. On the plus side, if the overly bright flickering lights were any indication, he wasn't likely to be able to pick her scent from the overpowering variety of other scents. Who knew what her dad was doing with the bleach too. Maybe she should have warned her father that bleach was flammable. It might not be a bad idea for her to hang around just to make sure he didn't burn the house down.

Sure, that was why she was skulking in the woods outside of her house. It had nothing to do with tall, dark and furry coming over. Bella knew she should get out of there, but she couldn't help but linger. As much as she tried to convince herself it was to check on the house, she knew the truth. She wanted to see him, even if just for a moment. Truth be told, she missed him. Anyway, Jake wasn't likely to go into the woods with Billy. Maybe she could sneak just a tiny peek.

It was a little over an hour before Jacob and Billy pulled up in her old truck. Bella felt a little tug at the sight of it. She loved that old thing. It was so comfortable and it just fit her. She noticed it missing when she got back, but she hadn't really thought too much of it. She figured her dad had sold it for her, since Edward had made it clear that she would never drive it again.

Billy opened his own door and Jacob came around with his chair. Bella drew back into the shadows as he looked out into the woods. She went utterly still and her eyes burned as she drank him in. He had grown since the last time she'd seen him, which was amazing because she really didn't think he could possibly grow any more. He looked older, more adult. This was no boy standing before her.

He ran his hand through his shaggy, dark hair as he scanned the forest. He was letting his hair grow longer again, the way she liked it. She didn't want to leave, but if she stayed much longer he was bound to catch her.

Bella took one last look over her shoulder as she raced into the woods. She decided to put him out of her mind and get lost in the hunt. She caught a deer's scent on the wind and altered her course to follow it. She jumped into a tree and watched silently, waiting to attack.

That was when she remembered her new jersey and groaned. There was no way she would have worn it hunting if her dad hadn't sprung the Blacks' surprise visit on her a little sooner. He had gotten it for her and it was pretty expensive, like around $200 expensive. Bella wasn't a klutz anymore, but sometimes she still managed to cover herself in blood when she wasn't careful. Blood spray could be pretty unpredictable. She'd be pissed if she ruined it. Bella couldn't help but laugh at herself. She had to be the worst vampire ever.

So much for hunting…she sat back in the tree and tried to make herself comfortable. It was going to be a long night with nothing to do but think about the boy, scratch that, the man currently taking up residence on her couch. She took her hat off and laid it on the branch, running her hand through her hair. She could almost pretend that she was a normal young woman looking to commune with nature, if it weren't for the fact that she had jumped up there with every intention of bringing down a deer with her bare hands. OK, her idea of normal was starting to get seriously skewered.

Still, coming back to Forks was exactly what she needed, as hard as it was to remain hidden. Bella felt more alive than she had in a long time. Maybe it was finally connecting with her father, maybe it was the brief glimpse of her best friend, either way forever didn't seem quite so interminable. Her life was a mess, but at least she had one now.

Bella looked up at the moon and marveled at craggy, uneven surface as it shined down on her and heard the words she had spoken to Jacob in their last conversation.

"_I used to think of you that way, you know. Like the sun. My personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me."_

She smiled. Was she imagining it or did the moon shine a little bit brighter tonight?


	3. Chapter 2: The closet you cannot close

**Disclaimer: **The characters belong to Stephanie Meyers and Summit Entertainment. I own nothing. I am just toying with them for a bit. The chapter titles come from the song Everything Changes, by Staind. It's a great song, go listen to it. :)

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the kind reviews. I love reviews and they totally motivate me to update more. Please forgive the fact that I do not have a beta this time around. I don't usually post without running it by one first, but I really wanted to post. There are some mentions of pairings other than Jacob/Bella, but trust me this is all about them. I kind of love Charlie too, so I can't help but add a bunch of him.

**The closet you cannot close…**

Jacob could feel eyes on him, watching from the woods. He lingered behind as his dad joined Charlie on the porch, staring out into the darkness of the forest, trying to make sense of what he had just seen. It couldn't be real. He was losing it. That was the only explanation that he could come up with.

"You coming, Jacob?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." He lifted his nose, testing the scent. That was it, he was finally going crazy. There wasn't a day that Jacob didn't think of Bella, but he didn't usually see her around, if it had actually been her. He really didn't know what to make of what he had seen.

He knew he was being watched the second they stepped out of the truck. He tried not to be too obvious as he searched for the source. He still had trouble believing what he'd seen. He could almost believe that it was his imagination, if not for the lingering scent. Jacob's nose wrinkled. It was definitely a vampire, but underneath that scent was another one, something more familiar. He was almost positive it was Bella, except the image just didn't gel. He knew that becoming a vampire led to some physical changes. He hadn't had enough time to study the unnaturally beautiful face and compare it to the face he carried in his head. He guessed it could have possibly been her, if not for the clothes. That was the part that he was stuck on.

Bells hated sports, especially baseball. She was like a magnet for accidents. He remembered trying to play once when they were young and she had somehow managed to whack herself with the bat as she swung. He still wasn't sure on the mechanics of that. There was no way she would be sporting an expensive jersey and baseball hat. She almost never pulled her hair back either. It had to be his imagination, unless changing into a leech also led to loving baseball. The thought was so insane that he was just about sure he was hallucinating. This was just what he needed. He didn't have enough dreams of her, now he had hallucinated her into an even more perfect girl, well minus the stink. He lifted his nose to the wind again, but this time all he could smell was the fresh scent of trees and underbrush.

Jacob shook his head at his obvious insanity as he stepped into Charlie's house and almost turned tail and ran back out.

What the hell?

His eyes widened as he made his way towards the living room, trying not to breathe. The place was lit up with at least 20 candles, maybe more. All the scents warred with each other, making his eyes water. It was overpowering. He wanted to hold his nose, but wasn't exactly sure how to pull that off without offending Charlie. He met his father's eyes and saw he was just as perplexed.

"Ummm, hi Charlie. Planning a séance or just trying to burn the whole place to the ground?"

"Huh? Oh the candles, I was just trying to freshen the place up. It smelled a little stuffy." Charlie barely looked away from the game.

"It's a little strong. Think we could maybe put a few of them out?" That got his attention. Charlie looked up and thought for a minute before shaking his head.

"Nah, I kind of like it." Charlie turned back to the game and that was that. Jacob exchanged a look with his dad, who just shrugged. Apparently, it wasn't quite as overwhelming if you weren't gifted with a werewolf's sense of smell.

"I'm gonna grab a soda or something. Anyone else want anything?" They waved him away, so Jacob went to the kitchen on his own. Somehow the kitchen was even worse than the living room. He hadn't even realized that was possible.

Was that bleach?

His eyes burned and this time he had to cover his nose. It smelled like Charlie had cleaned the place with pure bleach. Jacob was no housecleaner, but he was pretty sure that you weren't supposed to dump a bottle of bleach on the ground and go to town. He was going to have to talk to Charlie about proper house cleaning procedures and what not to do. Also, he was going to have to explain what flammable meant. He was somewhat surprised that the house hadn't gone up in flames with all the bleach fumes coming out of the kitchen. You'd think a sheriff would know something like that. Then again, he wasn't the fire chief. Maybe they didn't teach common sense in the police academy back in the day.

He was starting to get dizzy from the noxious fumes, so he decided it was time to grab what he needed and get the hell out of dodge. At least the living room was marginally less noxious. Opening the fridge he was hit with another overpowering stench.

What the hell had he ever done to Charlie to deserve this?

He grabbed the soda and slammed the door quickly as his stomach rolled in protest. Next time he wanted to watch a game with Charlie he was going to have to remember a gasmask. He almost made it out of the kitchen to freedom, when the contents of the refrigerator finally registered.

He covered his mouth and nose, careful not to breathe too deeply as he ripped open the fridge again.

Lasagna? Charlie?

He lowered his  
hand and took a tentative sniff. The bleach, strawberry, apple, pine, lime, vanilla, peach, cinnamon, and lavender scents were strong, but even they couldn't mask this one. It was the same smell he briefly caught in the yard.

"Son of a bitch!" he swore under his breath. There was no denying it any more. Suddenly the over-dosage of scents made sense. It hadn't been some weird hallucination outside. It was true. Bells was back. He walked slowly back to the living room and dropped on the couch in a daze. He didn't even know what he was supposed to think. It was one thing to hear her choose Edward and say she wanted to be a vampire, but it was completely different being faced with the facts that she actually was one.

"_Until my heart stops beating."_

"_You know, I think maybe I'd still take you. I guess that depends on how much you stink."_

He had always wondered and now he knew. Bella was a vampire and she stunk a lot…mostly. Charlie's sudden love of candles and bleach now made perfect sense. What better way would there be to cover leech stink? Jacob watched Charlie from the corner of his eye, wondering how much he knew. He seemed pretty unconcerned as he absently took a sip of his beer, but he had to know something. It couldn't be a coincidence that he found a new love for candles and cleaning right before Jacob showed up for the first time in months.

"So, how's Bella? Heard from her lately?" Charlie paused mid-sip.

"I just talked to her earlier. She's fine." That was Charlie, always the talker. He grit his teeth at Charlie's lack of explanation. It wouldn't kill him to tell Jacob something about her, unless he didn't want him to know. He gave up any pretense of paying attention to the game and studied Charlie.

"So she didn't have some car wreck or have surgery or anything weird like that?" That got Charlie's attention as well as his dad's. They both stared at him.

"Now, why would you ask something like that, Jacob?" He asked sharply. Jacob was asking himself the exact same question. He knew he had to tread carefully now. He probably shouldn't have asked that right away. There was no real reason not to get to the point right away, but in this case it sounded like he was either threatening her or knew something that her own father didn't. He mentally kicked himself and searched for some reason he would ask something like that. He had to know what Charlie knew, but he was going to have to fix this. His mind worked furiously as he looked for an answer that would not get him arrested by the good sheriff. He had to admit he was a little curious to know how Bella had explained the changes he had seen to her father.

"I had a dream about her the other night. I just wanted to be sure." He wasn't exactly lying when he said that. He did still dream about her. A lot of the time the dreams turned into nightmares. Sometimes he saw her as a vampire with red eyes. She looked different as a vampire than he had dreamed her. Charlie's face softened after he realized Jacob wasn't threatening her.

"She's fine, Jacob. She's actually doing well. I finally got her into baseball and we talk during Mariner games now. She was actually pretty irritated that we wouldn't be talking during tonight's game. She really wanted to see them beat the Yankees, but she had to go somewhere." Charlie turned back to the game again, letting him know the topic was closed. "Is there anything else or can we get back to watching the game?"

"Nope, that's about it." You really had to give the guy credit. Charlie was master of the half truths, not that Jacob was so bad at that himself. He obviously wasn't going to get much out of him, which wasn't that much of a surprise. This was his daughter they were talking about. As much as Jacob knew Charlie liked him, his loyalty would be to Bella first.

He tried to watch the game, but his mind wandered. At least he wasn't going crazy. The unnaturally beautiful girl with the golden eyes and Mariners jersey had to have been Bella. He just couldn't catch a break. On the plus side, her eyes had been the nice, safe gold of a nice human-free diet. He ignored the part of him that wanted to correct his assessment of her eyes. Nice and safe didn't even begin to describe them. Jacob couldn't help but check the windows to see if she had come back to watch them. They were empty, though. She must have known he would pick up her scent if she got too close, so he'd be surprised if she came back before she was sure he was gone. It was a little weird that she hadn't disappeared earlier. Charlie must have sprung their plans on her at the last minute.

There was something missing, though. Edward…He hadn't even thought to ask about him. Bella was the only scent he could pick up in the house, now that he picked it out it was all he smelled, surrounding him. It even overpowered the stench of leech. In this case, he wasn't sure which was worse, the reeking smell of vampire or the sweet underlying familiar scent of Bella. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. How could she still get to him after everything? He fought with himself for a few minutes, before he couldn't take it any more. He had to know.

"How's Edward doing?" Charlie's eyes were drawn away from the TV again and Jacob could tell he was starting to get annoyed.

"I thought we were watching the game now."

"We are. I was just curious." Charlie turned and looked back at the TV before answering, his jaw clenching. At least he hadn't changed on that point. It was obvious he still couldn't stand the vampire.

"I wouldn't know. They're not together any more." Jacob drew in a sharp breath, not quite sure how to feel about that. Charlie was watching him from the corner of his eye, so he tried not to react beyond that. He sat back and considered what that meant. Bella was free. She was no longer attached at the hip to the leech. He couldn't help but think back to the way Bella had fallen apart the last time Edward had left. He could still remember pulling her from the freezing water and the way she had just given up on life when Edward had left her the first time. He thought of the girl he had seen outside and tried to remember if she had that same look. The Bella he knew could barely function without Edward. He had only gotten a quick glimpse of her, but that hadn't been the impression he got. The girl in the Mariners cap had seemed fine; almost happy if that was possible. He hadn't gotten a really good look, so he couldn't be sure. Had she moved on? He shook his head at that thought. It didn't matter either way. Any chance they had in the past was gone now. She was a vampire and one thing he knew for sure was that vampires and werewolves don't mix. He laughed inwardly at the cosmic joke that had been played upon him.

He stared at the TV, not really seeing anything. His mind raced with thoughts of the girl he had seen. Occasionally, his dad and Charlie made the odd exclamation about those "damn Yankees." It could have been anyone playing for all the attention Jacob gave it. He was lost in his own thoughts, wishing he had gotten a better view of Bella in the woods. He still couldn't get over the fact that she had been there right under his nose and he hadn't known it. Thinking back on how little he had seen the good sheriff over the past couple months, he got the feeling it had been a while.

Jacob had no idea what he was supposed to be feeling. He was caught somewhere between unbelievably happy, sad, and completely furious. Bella always had a way of tying him in knots. Obviously nothing had changed in the years that she had been gone. He thought he had moved on, but when it came down to it there would always be a part of him looking for her and wishing that she were there. She had been more than the girl he loved; she had also been his best friend. The day she had married Edward he had lost them both.

The game ended and Billy and Charlie were commiserating over the Mariner loss. He should have jumped into the conversation, but he couldn't quite bring himself to care for once. He lifted his nose and sniffed the air picking up Bella's scent immediately now. Charlie watched him out of the corner of his eye again and Jacob met his gaze squarely as he stood up.

"Tell Bella I said hi." He could feel Charlie's eyes measuring him again, trying to gauge how to take that before he finally stood up and stuck his hand out.

"Will do…thanks for coming by to watch the game. Too bad the Mariners couldn't pull out a win for us." Jacob shook his hand before following his father out of the house.

"Thanks for having us. Next time, how about you skip the bleach and candles? I'm not Smoky the bear, but I'm pretty sure bleach is flammable." Charlie barked out a laugh.

"No, I don't suppose you are, Sparky, but I'll remember that." Jacob's jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. Sparky? Charlie never called him anything other than Jacob or maybe Jake. It had been deliberate. He definitely knew more than Jacob was giving him credit for. He tried not to be insulted at being compared to some kind of hyperactive dalmation. Charlie met his eyes directly again and Jacob got the message loud and clear. There was more subtext and code here than a Bond movie, but he knew when he was being called out. Charlie knew exactly what was going on. Jacob scanned the woods as he tossed the chair in the bed of the truck, but there were no gold eyes staring back at him this time. He pulled himself in the truck and raised his hand to wave as they pulled away.

"What the hell was that Jacob?" He should have known his father wouldn't let it drop.

"Charlie knows about the pack."

"I guessed that. I meant everything. You never talk about Bella and you sure as hell never want him to tell her 'hi'."

"I was playing a hunch."

"How'd that work out for you?"

"Pretty well…could we please drop it now?"

"You don't want to go there again, Jacob."

"Who said I was going anywhere? I'm just tired and want to get home." _To Leah, _Jacob finished in his head, but for some reason the words didn't quite make it out of his mouth. Billy sighed next to him, not missing the words he didn't say and they rode the rest of the way in silence.

"Good night, Son. Tell Leah I said hi." Jacob rubbed his forehead briefly as he got out of the truck to help his father.

"Good night, Dad." His dad looked like he might of wanted to say something else, but Jacob jumped back in the truck before he had the chance. He didn't need his dad to tell him how stupid it would be to get pulled back into the Bella drama. Things had been good since he had come back with Leah. His life was settled. The pack was there, but it wasn't there out of necessity as it had been in the past. They were just one big happy family living their lives now. Vampires had become something of the past and he liked it that way. He didn't need this now. He didn't need her. There was one thing he knew absolutely; his heart couldn't survive another ride on the Bella roller coaster. It almost hadn't the first time.


End file.
